(01)
Everything
(02)
(03)
Songs
(04)
Performances
The Listening Station (Residency)
2016
I joined writers, artists and musicians staying in a former Admiralty Experimental Station, built to listen for Soviet submarines during the cold war.
I wrote two short, interactive stories for the project's site-specific sound installation.
The first work by Stone Fruit Cabaret, a collective of seven Falmouth-based writers and musicians.
Split featured theatre, satire, punk rock and fresh fruit, and was performed to a sell-out crowd the Fish Factory Arts Space.
Split (Performance)
A novella. Long-listed for the 2012/13 Paris Literary Prize.
If you'd like a soft copy, just email me. If you'd like a hard copy, just find yourself a senior role at your favourite publishing house.
Letters for the Sun (Fiction)
2013
Benzanoe #65 (Fiction)
This edition of Benzanoe Magazine collected together work by designers, artists, thinkers, writers and image-makers, responding to the theme:
The Future
Is Only
Present Hope
You can get a soft copy of my contribution, ‘A Hopeful, Fearful Request’, by emailing me.
If you want a hard copy – and you should, it’s a beautiful publication – maybe hassle the magazine’s editor, Dion Star.
...Loves You (Tour)
The Black Maria Memorial Fund took its new record on the autobahn and beyond, with a tour of Germany, Holland, London and Cornwall.
We couldn’t have done this without the wonderful Songs and Whispers, Buzzard Lope, various local and Internet TV/Radio stations, and numerous attentive venues and welcoming hosts.
2012
2011
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s third LP.
Songs from …Loves You have been carried by local and national radio waves, including those radiated by the BBC, thanks to Jarvis Cocker and his Sunday Service. You can get a digital or physical copy here.
The physical copy comes in an ingenious sleeve designed by damn fine artist Claire Harrison. It was released by Lost Toys Records.
...Loves You (LP)
26 Flavours (Fiction)
I was invited to collaborate with local graphic artist Mat McIvor, and celebrate the many (well, at least 26) tastes of the UK's southwest.
(We ended up exploring seaweed’s relationship with our planet’s natural satellite.)
An Oulipian translation of the Liberal Democrat Election Manifesto, using the first half of a pocket English/German dictionary.
You can read highlights here.
Liberal Demoralisation Manoeuvre (Fiction)
24 Hour Comic Etc. (Residency)
18 songs written and recorded in 24 hours, while staying in the Liskeard Community Centre with illustrators, photographers, poets and other creative folk.
A single-track version was made available to the curious and masochistic in early 2017. You can find it here.
The Black Maria Memorial Fund and Yossarian counted the moon in the various corners of the UK.
Counting the Moon (Tour)
Counting the Moon (EP)
A split EP with Yossarian. Released by Slick Nine Records on 12” vinyl, in a handstitched velvet sleeve.
If you want a beautifully blue, tactile addition to your record collection, there might be few copies left. Maybe ask Yossarian.
...Nails Down A Blackbird (LP)
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s second LP.
Released on CD-R, with artwork by me.
The band’s musical ambitions had grown. Our interest in learning how to record anything properly hadn’t. (And probably never will.)
This remains David Naylor’s favourite record by the Black Maria Memorial Fund.
You can see if he’s right by streaming or downloading it here.
Another Tragic Year With... (LP)
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s first LP.
Released on CD-R, each copy bearing unique cover art.
You could call the cover art a mixed media collage, challenging traditional boundaries between the commodity and the consumer.
Or you could call it a Polaroid of the poor sap who’d bought the CD, with a label bearing the track-listing and credits hastily slapped on the back.
You can get a digital copy (sadly, without your face on it) here.
2009
2008
2005
Fiction
2012
This edition of Benzanoe Magazine collected together work by designers, artists, thinkers, writers and image-makers, responding to the theme:
The Future
Is Only
Present Hope
You can get a soft copy of my contribution, ‘A Hopeful, Fearful Request’, by emailing me.
If you want a hard copy – and you should, it’s a beautiful publication – maybe hassle the magazine’s editor, Dion Star.
Benzanoe #65
2013
Letters for the Sun
A novella. Long-listed for the 2012/13 Paris Literary Prize.
You can get a soft copy by emailing me. You can get a hard copy by emailing me after securing a senior position at a publishing house.
An Oulipian translation of the Liberal Democrat Election Manifesto, using the first half of a pocket English/German dictionary.
You can read highlights here.
I was invited to collaborate with local graphic artist Mat McIvor, and celebrate the many (well, at least 26) tastes of the UK's southwest.
(We ended up exploring seaweed’s relationship with our planet’s natural satellite.)
26 Flavours
2011
...Loves You
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s third LP.
Songs from …Loves You have been carried by local and national radio waves, including those radiated by the BBC, thanks to Jarvis Cocker and his Sunday Service. You can get a digital or physical copy here.
The physical copy comes in an ingenious sleeve designed by damn fine artist Claire Harrison. It was released by Lost Toys Records.
2005
2008
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s first LP.
Released on CD-R, each copy bearing unique cover art.
You could call the cover art a mixed media collage, challenging traditional boundaries between the commodity and the consumer.
Or you could call it a Polaroid of the poor sap who’d bought the CD, with a label bearing the track-listing and credits hastily slapped on the back.
You can get a digital copy (sadly, without your face on it) here.
Another Tragic Year With... (LP)
The Black Maria Memorial Fund’s second LP.
Released on CD-R, with artwork by me.
The band’s musical ambitions had grown. Our interest in learning how to record anything properly hadn’t. (And probably never will.)
This remains David Naylor’s favourite record by the Black Maria Memorial Fund.
You can see if he’s right by streaming or downloading it here.
...Nails Down A Blackbird (LP)
A split EP with Yossarian. Released by Slick Nine Records on 12” vinyl, in a handstitched velvet sleeve.
If you want a beautifully blue, tactile addition to your record collection, there might be few copies left. Maybe ask Yossarian.
Counting the Moon (EP)
18 songs written and recorded in 24 hours, while staying in the Liskeard Community Centre with illustrators, photographers, poets and other creative folk.
A single-track version was made available to the curious and masochistic in early 2017. You can find it here.
24 Hour Comic Etc.
2016
Split (Performance)
The first work by Stone Fruit Cabaret, a collective of seven Falmouth-based writers and musicians.
Split featured theatre, satire, punk rock and fresh fruit, and was performed to a sell-out crowd the Fish Factory Arts Space.
The Black Maria Memorial Fund took its new record on the autobahn and beyond, with a tour of Germany, Holland, London and Cornwall.
We couldn’t have done this without the wonderful Songs and Whispers, Buzzard Lope, various local and Internet TV/Radio stations, and numerous attentive venues and welcoming hosts.
...Loves You (Tour)
2009
Counting the Moon (Tour)
The Black Maria Memorial Fund and Yossarian counted the moon in the various corners of the UK.
Education
(06)
– MA in Professional Writing, Falmouth University (Distinction)
– BA in English Literature, University of Warwick (1st Class)
– RA in Rasputin Studies, Boney Elementary (Double Award)
– JA in German Positivism, Goethe-Thetopoftheclass College
– LA in Lazy Lyric Writing, School of Popular Song
– HA in Eating Things That Are Still Too Hot, Hungary State
– TA in Expressing Gratitude, School of Mum & Dad
(05)
Copywriting
I work part-time as Senior Copywriter for the brilliant human beings at Radix Communications.
Radix creates content that delivers ROI for B2B tech companies. If you understood that sentence, you might want to learn more about Radix’s services.
2010
I joined writers, artists and musicians staying in a former Admiralty Experimental Station, built to listen for Soviet submarines during the cold war.
I wrote two short, interactive stories for the project's site-specific sound installation.
2016
The Listening Station
Liberal Demoralisation Manoeuvre (Fiction)
2010
2011
2009
2011
Counting the Moon (Tour)
Radix Communications
Kieran Haynes
I'm a writer and performer.
I've written for...
– Art projects, events and collectives
– Magazines (including The New Statesman)
– News agencies (like the The Press Association)
– Technology brands (like, some of the world's biggest)
– Friends, family and, you know, the sheer bloody joy of it.
Here's a list of my recent projects...